im a perfectly flawed woman ..

my pointless love ..

2009-05-23T23:27:00.000+08:00

The star always reminds me how you said i love you that long night.

I can still remember how we used to spend stolen moments to talk about stuffs where we would only end up eating . How i would end up late at school without you knowing because we stayed up late talking over the phone. The way that you would text me in eight letter word ailubyew. How we managed to keep our love and walk under the sun with hands clasp together. I can still recall every moment that my phone would beep.. And It is still vivid in my mind, when you first told me the words "i love you."

The love went on. Every day was a surprise. You'll never know what' gonna happen next. It's just between the two of us. No but's, no why's and no what if's. We savored every moment that we can because it is just our time to do so. It's about our happiness now. The happiness that we lost because we gave to people who can't even appreciate a little. Making the most of what we have was the best remedy. The matter has become US and not THEM.

And because of that I've finally learned to love again. Wholeheartedly. The person that i lost has been put up to pieces. You taught me how to stand up when i am defeated. You gave me all the strenght that i need to face the world before me. I became the person I am today because of you.

You loved me like i am the only person that you need to prioritize in your life. You trusted me for every little thing that i should know about you, more than anyone else. For seeing me for who I am, and not for who I'm not.

I felt it. That we never changed. We even moved further. The special connection that we have is still there. We were always the bestfriends that we used to be and the lovers that we've grown to appreciate.

All that I believe about love, the never ending lovelorn stories and being hurt because love is always a lie. You prove them wrong. Yeah, i guess you're right, you're really different from them. You never fail to make me the happiest girl for keeping all your promises. The trust the I am giving you is always paid off. Being the craziest girlfriend and bestfriend that i am, you still choose to love me.

I am always reminded of our million arguments that makes me laugh hard because it is just pointless. We just won't let each other win, and then later realize why we are arguing with that stupid thing, and just end up you talking about how much you love me. The nights to remember. Just you and me, reminiscing all the insane stuffs that we have done in our pasts. I love to think about the never ending escapades to places that we've both never been. Escapades that will cause our fights because we just don't actually know where to go. The times that we had that nothing can ever replace.

Two years of our inexplicable relationship. You always knew it, we can make this work. Thank you for making me believe in this. And of course, for believing in me. Believing in what we have and what we can achieve. Your right, I've been wanting this for so long. Thank you.

The happiness that you brought to me will always be here with me. That is why I am hoping that I won't wake up someday that all that's left to us are the memories that we have written in each others life.

The thin lips that would pressed into mine. The smell that would always linger. It'll continue. Until the end of the endless story.

*I may not be the most patient girlfriend. I may brag you down because of your very busy schedule, I may not understand *sometimes* your profession. I'd still like you to know, that i understand you more than you think I am. I will always be the same old person who always knew what you love to do, who accept the way it is, and who will always support you all the way. I love you!*

i am .. ME ..

2009-05-23T23:04:00.000+08:00

*i'm a cry baby.
*i don't easily get pissed off. but when i do i can't get over it easily.
*very very sensitive, so deal with it.
*i have a positive outlook in life which makes me strong.
*i can say, i'm amusing and i'm a gifted entertainer. try me ;]
*my friends are the best comfort zone ever.
*i love being crazy when im with my friends. they're the best people who lets you be yourself.
*i am very dependent to people close to me. very much. that's why i can't let them go easily. *i am a good conversationalist. we can talk anything and everything under the sun.
*i love the STAR and the moonlight.
*watching the sunset makes me feel alive forever.
*i love to chill in the water.
*my life is an open book.
*i am a snob. i don't trust strangers.
*i enjoy out of town trips and roadtrips.
*i am very easy to please and i easily forgive people.
*i do better when i am in rush.
*foods are best buddies. eating is a hobby.
*VANILLA™
*i appreciate people who shows sweetness and a bunch of humor.
*conversations over coffee and beer are the best stress reliever.
*very musically inclined. frustrated singer here. :)
*i extremely love surprises.
*i hunger for true love.
*"happy-go-lucky" type of person. but due to stressful circumstances, i sometimes become "what's-gonna-happen-next?" type.
*i'm an ultimate attention seeker.
*i believe that "life is UNFAIR."
*my life is a hell of complications.
*perceptive problem-solver and shock absorber.
*i would have never learned to play with life without pain and heartaches.
*i quickly become bored when things repeat themselves.
*i am the weirdest person you'll know.
*oh well, i am a sucker for happy endings.
*i'm vulnerable in believing lies.
*i fear rejection and failure.
*i just hate goodbyes.
*i am VERY impulsive in making decisions. and i usually regret them.
*bear with me, i am overly fickle minded.
*very outspoken which some people may find offensive & intimidating.
*i talk a lot. i always say and express what's on my mind.
*i have a lot of patience. i tell you, A LOT.
*i only believe in what i feel and what i think will be right for me.
*i am so selfless. i wish i would learn to love my self more.
*writing is my passion. it relieves me from anxiety.
*reading is a must.
*i'll be everything you want and everything you hate.
*i'll stop believing in love. soon..
*i won't settle for anything less than what I deserve.

-i have my moments and if you can't understand me, well there's nothing i can do about it

i love you ..

2009-05-23T22:59:00.000+08:00

i’ve fallen in love with you more than i planned
and now i’m sure there’s no way i’ll evr let you go
i’ll nevr regret fallin into your arms
how i wish i could have you forever
i love you so much that it would hurt me if you’ll go
i nevr thought about losing you
i nver will
i promise to cherish you as much as I can
haiy
i can’t get you out of my mind
not even a second
everything just reminds me of your name
you don’t know how happy i am that you’re mine
just hearing your name, makes me smile
this is the first time i’ve evr felt like this.
you’ve caught me

dreams of a thousand ...

2009-05-23T20:58:00.000+08:00

Who wouldn't be tempted with a person far more beautiful than the all the actresses nowadays..
The girl of every mans dream. The inspiration of a thousand young folks. I never believed in fairy tales and dreams .. I admit, I used to dream that I was a very beautiful and renowned princess when I was a very young kid. But as I grew up.. I learned the difference of reality and my dreams.. Beauty and madness, that's what the world is all about. Nobody would notice you even if you did your best if you were just a common typical girl-next-door type of girl. It was the day I learned about her that my life started to change..I was a shallow and happy person until the day that i came to know about her.

She has gorgeous locks of hair, the most expressive eyes I have ever seen.. Nose that signifies the top of a proud and high mountain.. and lips that speak a thousand words yet remained unspoken. A dream i had never dreamed before entered my subconscious mind .. a dream of being a person i know i could never be .. ever since the day i came to know about her i cant stop thinking about her. Yes, I admired her. And I always wanted to be who she was ..

I wanted to be every man's dream.. I wanted to be as perfect as her.. My eyes are drained of tears.. My heart is filled with sorrow not noticing there's someone special who never left me even in the deepest abyss of my sorrow..

to be continued ..